The Other Pandemics- pt 1.
I’ve kept my disease to myself so that I wouldn’t be rejected. I was pretty sure if I told people about my illness, they would not be my friend, not hire me for a job and definitely not be my boyfriend!! My symptoms, I believed, were undetectable. To pass as “normal”, I created systems and routines to buffer myself against possible rejection.
Quod me nutrit me destruit.
The system I used is called “fake it till you make it.” I didn’t know that’s what I had been doing for 42 years when I first heard it in an AA meeting. I was there because my daily 2-ish year long routine of eating and drinking myself to sleep every night was causing significant problems in my life, which were quite getting in the way of my drinking and eating.
I’m an alcoholic in recovery, 10 years sober from alcohol. Becoming an alcoholic or addicted to anything as a means to relieve internal stress, is a symptom, an expression of the underlying disease in the body and mind.
My disease has been misdiagnosed in children for decades as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), or Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or Generalized Anxiety Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (GADNOS) or maybe Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD). Children who exhibit behaviors that disrupt the family or school environment are often assessed and given multiple diagnoses by psychiatrists, pediatricians and psychologists. The “disorders” and their acronyms are helpful for the adults supporting the child to have a common language with which to discuss managing the child’s behaviour. “Alphabet Soup” is a dark humor phrase used by social workers (yes, me too) and caregivers to describe children with multiple diagnoses associated with behavioral challenges. If you are a teacher, a parent, a caregiver or anyone who knows any children, you have noticed that there are a lot of kids with “alphabet soup” behaviours. Those children grow into adults whose diagnoses often up-level from behavioral disorders to Personality Disorders. The unwanted behaviours exhibited by children (and adults) with alphabet soup are often managed with pharmaceuticals, diets, reward systems and many other ever evolving strategies to help them get compliant in the classroom (or at their job, or in their relationships).
My disease wasn’t called anything when I was a kid. Even now this disease does not have a name or acronym that would help us engage in fruitful discussion because the disease is experienced differently by each person affected. But what about the terms Toxic and Stress? Maybe Adverse Childhood Experiences? Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?
Toxic Stress is the cause of many diseases of the body and the mind. Toxic Stress caused my disease. And surprisingly, not unlike alcoholism or any other behaviour problem, the treatment involves compassionate, kind and emotionally intelligent people.
The link below is to the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard with a short film and an article explaining Toxic Stress and it’s impacts on the developing human brain. Fascinating shit!
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/toxic-stress/
xoxo
Miki
